Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length

 
Advanced search

80921 Posts in 5765 Topics- by 8305 Members - Latest Member: Brultydrilt

June 19, 2013, 04:25:29 AM
The Official Anima ForumsAnima - TacticsBattle ReportsChance Meeting - Anima Tactics short story
Pages: [1] 2
Print
Author Topic: Chance Meeting - Anima Tactics short story  (Read 2254 times)
Humorous_Conclusion
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 66



View Profile WWW Email
« on: March 02, 2010, 02:20:00 PM »

Not really a battle report as the battle it describes never actually took place, but I didn't know where else to put it.

Somewhat inspired by the story in the rule book, I decided to have a crack at writing one of my own involving my two preffered factions.

Chance Meeting

Alberia, September 12th, East of Belfort

The Inn was unusually quiet. Ambrose, the barman, took the opportunity to clean some glasses. A stopping point between Belfort and Eron, the Unicorn was usually a busy Inn, though few customers stayed long. There were regulars, but regular travellers, men and women always on the road, not the sort of people who would stop for news or gossip. On the other hand, there were always new people and Ambrose liked meeting new people.

Occasionally, they had unusual customers. Tonight there had been three. The first was a tall, dark haired man with a stern expression and a military bearing. He was wearing a long, dark and weather-beaten cloak, but the bulk of his armour was clearly visible underneath. It would have been impossible for him to conceal the enormous broad sword, almost as tall as he was, so the man had made no attempt. It was slung across his back quite openly. Ambrose was amazed the man could carry it, much less wield it in battle. Generally, Ambrose liked to keep weapons out of the bar, but decided it was better not to complain in this case. The man had ordered a drink and sat down quietly in a corner.

A Mercenary soldier? Ambrose had considered. A weapon like that surely couldn't have been for show, but it was odd to find a soldier of fortune travelling alone. Some kind of bounty hunter perhaps? Ambrose preferred not to consider the possibility that the man was an Imperial Agent, that could bring the kind of trouble he didn't need.

Shortly after the man's arrival he was joined by the second unusual traveller of the night - a young woman, barely more than a girl, brown haired and remarkably beautiful. She was also wearing a travelling cloak, though it was noticeably cleaner and in better condition. Her light demeanour, smile and unworldliness seemed wholly out of place in the dimly lit Inn. Ambrose had been surprised when she gave the grim faced man a smile and a wave, and even more surprised when the man had returned it with an almost imperceptible nod.

She had almost skipped over to the bar and ordered a drink. Ambrose had been about to offer her a friendly warning about the kind of attention she was likely to attract, when an oversized man-ape, clearly the worse for drink, proved his point for him. Leaning over the young woman he had made a decidedly improper suggestion. Ambrose glanced at the man in the corner, but he sipped his drink and didn't move. Ambrose decided he should say something, when in a flash the young woman had the drunk's arm up behind his back. Ambrose saw that with the tiniest of movements she could have snapped his arm. But instead she let him down, took her drink and joined her grim-faced companion in the corner.

The third arrival had been the strangest of all. An elderly man, with a grey beard and another weather-beaten cloak, though not as weather-beaten as his face which carried the scars of a life lived long and hard. The strange thing was that Ambrose didn't see him enter or walk across the bar. He simply appeared at the table with the grim-faced man and the young woman. More disturbing, he had somehow acquired a drink that Ambrose was quite certain he had never served. He sipped quietly in the corner, while the young woman talked and laughed.

A very mysterious trio indeed. But Ambrose decided that it was better not to know any more. These looked like the kind of customers that could cause trouble. Better to leave well alone.

* * *
Daniella Meris laughed. “Vayl that was mean. The poor bar keeper's eyes almost popped out of his head.”

“I don't like waiting at bars,” Vayl said, by way of explanation, his expression didn't change, but Daniella knew him well enough to see the smile behind his old-looking eyes.

“Now that we're all here,” Janus Faith began, ignoring his companion's distractions, “are we prepared.”

“Three horses stabled outside,” Daniella said. “Do we have our destination?”

“A few kilometres east of Eamon Forest,” Janus replied. “The local Imperial forces have stumbled across something. The Lord General is on his way, but he has says he has reason to believe we may encounter resistance.”

“So we're there  to provide backup again.” Vayl sighed. “The Lord General is jumpy for a man of his rank. At least it isn't far away.”

“We have to make a detour first,” Janus said, “to collect some kind of specialist. The Lord General believes  her expertise will be valuable.”

“An Imperial Agent?” Daniella asked.

“Some kind of freelance.” Janus snorted with disdain. Daniella smiled slightly and stifled a giggle. For all his haughtiness it had only been a few months earlier than Janus himself had been little more than a Freelance operator. Daniella didn't say anything. She knew how sensitive her commander was about his return to Imperial service.

“We leave at first light?” Vayl asked.

“No, I want cover of darkness,” Janus said. “Better we are not seen on the road, I want out movements quiet.”

“So another night of riding in the rain,” Vayl grumbled. “I'm too old for this.”

Daniella giggled. “Why so grumpy this evening Vayl?”

Vayl looked at her. For a moment his intense grey eyes met hers. He spoke softly.

“Leaves fall, slowly turning,
As gentle reminder of things passed,
Once green and growing now lifeless and discarded.
Brief lives lived and cast aside.
No memory of their passing.”

“A new poem?” Daniella asked, with a smile.

“I don't know how to finish it.” Vayl complained. “It needs another line, but I can't think what it should be.”

“When you two are quite finished...” Janus didn't complete the sentence, but stood up. In spite of his chiding of his subordinates, it felt so much better to be travelling with them again. Daniella's optimism combined with Vayl's cynicism, without them a part of himself had been missing. The three made their was to the door.”

* * *
During the Cerberus division's meeting another customer sat silently observing them in the corner of the Inn. He did not hide in the shadows, but somehow became part of them. So much so that a customer had almost sat on him, before quickly apologising. The pleasant grin he had received had somehow been more disconcerting then any angry glare could have been.

Just after Cerberus division left, the strange man had quietly gotten up and disappeared through the back door. Once outside he checked carefully to see that he was not observed and then, quite casually, ran up the Inn wall before squatting down on the roof to watch the three Imperials as they walked down the street.

After a moment he was joined by a small dark skinned woman, wrapped in fur. “And what have you found, Cheshire, that is so fascinating that you failed to meet us at the appointed time.”

Cheshire turned, and gave her his trademark smile. “My dear Bael, I believe I have found something of great interest.”

Bael leaned over slightly and looked down at the three figures. “Imperials,” she said calmly. “Agents, possibly quite powerful, but entirely irrelevant to our mission.”

“Look again, sweet one,” Cheshire continued. “The woman...”

“Oh why am I not surprised,” Bael almost laughed. “It would be a woman of course. The eternal folly of Dark Cheshire.”

Cheshire stood for a moment and lightly putting his hands on Bael's shoulders. “I am offended Bael, surely no other woman could possibly distract me from your incomparable charms. But can you not smell it on her?”

Bael shrugged him away, but she did sniff the air. Then again, there was something.

“Can you smell it? Taste it? There is something about her. In her soul. Something unlike. Something other. We must investigate.”

Another voice spoke. “Although this discovery may be of interest, we must press ahead with our mission.” The voice was strong and imperious. It brooked no argument. “We cannot risk exposure at this time.”

Bael and Cheshire turned to see the pale form of Genma in her simple grey dress. The woman's voice carried a weight and authority that belied her light frame. Her face was completely emotionless.

“Please Genma,” Cheshire argued, “this is an opportunity not to be missed. Sometimes we must seize the moment.”

“And sometimes we must let it go,” Genma said, dismissively. “Our instructions are clear.”

“You are being short-sighted and foolish,” Cheshire said.

“Nevertheless, I am in authority here.”

Genma turned to leave, Bael followed. Cheshire stood for a moment, contemplating the situation. He looked back at the three Imperials, then at his colleagues. His smile spread and then he fell forward off the roof. The movement was so casual that it could have been an accident, but he turned it into a somersault half way down before landing and breaking into a run.

Genma looked after him. For the merest fraction of a moment her passive expression slipped into an angry frown, before returning. Although, in many ways Bael disliked her, she had to admit that Genma was completely calm in a crisis. No time for angry displays or futile gestures. The situation was what it was and she had to deal with it.

“Go,” Genma said, gesturing to Cheshire. Bael nodded and leaped off the roof. Genma followed, drifting casually into the street below.

* * *
Janus had barely registered that they were under attack when the dark figure was upon them, swinging his strangely shaped sword. The attacker was unarmoured and seemed to be wearing a ragged assortment of clothes with a feathered head dress. He whirled his blade around his head in a style Janus had never seen before.

In a moment Vayl moved, drawing the blades of Chronos and parrying his strikes. Daniella drew her bow and launched and arrow, but the dark figure somehow managed to deflect and still avoid Vayl's counter strike.

There was flash in the dark and Janus ducked. A second figure appeared, striding out of the shadows. This one was smaller, a woman apparently. She held out her palm and a blast of dark energy shot out. Janus barely had time to block with his sword.

A second arrow from Daniella, forced the woman to dodge.

Janus was about to launch his own attack when something else caught his eye. Another woman, slightly taller and more elegantly dressed was walking towards him. She was pale and slim, almost sickly looking. She looked as though Janus could cut her in half with a single swing. But he had enough combat experience not to underestimate an opponent. He approached carefully, his blade drawn.

The woman reached into her dress and threw something at the ground. There was a flash and the roar of flame. Janus guarded his eyes. At first he thought the woman had thrown some kind of incendiary missile. Fire burned all around. But then a shape formed out of the flames, an enormous humanoid skeleton, almost twice Janus' height, an Ignis. It opened its mouth and bellowed, before launching itself at Janus.

* * *
Cheshire was struggling. He should have been able to bring down the old man and focus on the girl, but somehow it had not worked out as planned. His opponent had caught him by surprise, Cheshire preferred to deliver surprises rather than receive him.

Every strike he made was being parried by an opponent who seemed to be everywhere at once. His strange golden blades dancing to intercept Cheshire's every move. But it wasn't only speed that was the problem. Wherever Cheshire swung his sword the golden blades seemed ready, as though his opponent knew where he would strike as soon as Cheshire did. What was more, in the golden glow of the blades, Cheshire thought that the old man looked much younger than before, as though the blades were reversing the flow of time.

Cheshire was confident that he was the stronger fighter, his opponent was defending not striking back, but Cheshire's target was the girl and time was not on his side. Loath as he was to request aid, he needed support.

“Bael darling,” he called out, “a little help would be greatly appreciated.”

“I do have my own problems,” Bael sighed. But she stopped darting from arrows for a moment and drew a symbol in the air.”

There was an odd buzzing hiss noise, and for a moment everything seemed to slow down. A strange pressure formed in the air. Vayl's blades fizzed and grew dark and the old man sank to his knees. Cheshire grinned and launched a vicious kick to his opponent's head before darting to one side and hurling himself at the girl.

Vayl quickly picked himself up. The blades of Chronos were dark and inert. A seal, he cursed. No time to worry about that, ironically. He turned to pursue his enemy when something caught him across the jaw. Bael advanced towards him swinging a morning star in her right hand.

“Poor thing,” she gloated. “Not so strong with your magic knives sealed.”

“Strong enough for you.” Vayl spat and leaped to his feet.
Logged

Humorous_Conclusion
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 66



View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #1 on: March 02, 2010, 02:20:38 PM »

Apologies for the double post, but it was too long to fit in just one.

* * *
The Ignis prowled around Janus, an eternally burning skeletal nightmare full of rage at everything and everyone. The ground scorched where it walked. The heat was intense and flames whipped around Janus. A ring of fire encircled him keeping him from his colleagues.

Janus trusted them to look after themselves, he prepared to face his opponents. He raised his blade and assumed a defensive stance. The runes across the blade glowed brightly. The Ignis struck. Janus deflected blow after blow as the Demon bellowed in rage.

Genma watched from the shadows. Janus' armour could not protect him from the terrible heat of the Ignis' attacks, but somehow he was blocking every assault with his oversized blade. No human should even be able to lift such a weapon and yet Janus moved with a fluid grace of a master fencer.

As Janus wheeled and ducked Genma could make out a faint buzzing of whirring sound. At first she thought it was the blade, but then she realised it came from the armour. That was the answer. The armour had been enhanced, probably with lost loggia technology, increasing strength and reducing weight. The sword was probably the same. There was far more to this warrior than he appeared. His colleagues certainly the same. Perhaps Cheshire had been right to investigate.

There was no time for such concerns. Genma strengthened the power of the binding on the Ignis and it roared once again as power infused it. Once again it leaped, leaving a burning trail in its wake. Janus caught it with his sword, deflecting it and casting it aside, but the effort pushed him onto one knee and he winced. Turning rapidly the Ignis threw a burst of fire that scorched his cloak and singed his hair. Janus turned to face is adversary again as it bellowed in triumph it flames lighting up the dark.

* * *
Daniella drew back, firing arrow after arrow at Cheshire. He deflected every one with swift sword strokes and continued his advance. Daniella was angry now, something about the smug grin as he avoided her attacks. But she knew her anger was making her sloppy.

“This will wipe the smile off his face,” she thought, as she notched a shooting star arrow.

The arrow flew, as before Cheshire swung his blade, catching it in the air. But this time as the arrow made contact it exploded. Cheshire jumped back and spun in the air as he was engulfed in flames and smoke. Daniella jumped and punched the air. Got him!

Then a flesh of movement made her turn. Cheshire appeared out of nowhere, scorched but very much alive and still smiling. His arm shot out before Daniella could attack. But the expected strike did not come. Instead, Cheshire took hold of her jaw in a vice like grip. Daniella was so stunned she couldn't move. He turned her face left and right, then moved closer and sniffed as if smelling for something.

“You are quite beautiful my dear,” he said in a silken voice. “And really quite special. Very special.”

Daniella had fought hundreds of opponents, monsters of every description and yet somehow this was the most unsettling thing she had ever experienced. Still paralysed she could only flinch as Cheshire studied her face.

As the smoke from the shooting star arrow cleared, Vayl caught sight of Daniella and Cheshire. Both were standing quite still. Why didn't they move? Then he saw Cheshire's blade behind his back. It made only the slightest of movements, but Vayl could see what was coming next. He was struck with a horrible premonition of Cheshire's blade cutting into Daniella.

Bael's morning star swung towards him, but he barely cared any more. The blow struck his armoured chest, but he ignored it darting forward and making two quick strikes with the inert blades of Chronos before knocking Bael to the ground with a quick kick the chest.

As he turned towards Cheshire and Daniella the blades hummed back into life and the world slowed to a crawl. Once again the weight of time and the world pressed down on him, moving so impossibly slowly. He felt he could reach out and catch a rain drop, but his body wouldn't move as he wished, dragging as though petrified.

Vayl was used to this sensation, he had experienced countless times, but it had never felt so oppressive as he watched the tiny, all but imperceptible movements of Cheshire's blade. His muscles caught fire as he willed them forward, desperately, whatever happened to him he had to get to Daniella before Cheshire's... He couldn't bare to complete the thought.

* * *
Janus was tiring. The relentless assault of the Fire Demon was starting to take its toll and even his absolute defence would not be able to hold indefinitely. Having fought summoned beings before he had expected that if he maintained his defence the summoning would eventually fail. The sickly woman must have been a powerful summoner indeed.

Maintaining defence was no longer an option, he had to find a way to destroy the creature, but the few strikes he had been able to launch had had little impact. An object in his peripheral vision gave him an idea.

Keeping up his defence for a few moments longer he manoeuvred around his opponent. The demon seemed puzzled but kept up the attack, launching blow after blow with its burning claws. When he was in position Janus dropped his guard giving the demon its opening.

In a flash he dropped down, the Ignis' claw passed over his head and Janus thrust upwards with his sword. The momentum caught the demon off balance hurling it back, and causing it to crash into the water barrel Janus had seen before.

The Demon was dowsed in cold water and howled as it struggled to its feet, steam rising all around As Janus had expected, the water was not enough to banish the demon, but gave him the distraction he needed. He charged the demon, his overhead strike crashing through its skull and smashing open its ribs. The beast collapsed into a pile of burning bones that smoldered for a moment and then evaporated as if they had never been there.

Genma flinched as she felt the demon's banishment pains. Janus had proven a more dangerous opponent than she had anticipated, not a mistake she would make again. She was not willing to risk a direct confrontation now. She had given Cheshire his chance, he and Bael would have to look after themselves.

Janus looked around for the pale summoner, but she had already vanished into the night. With the Ignis' flames gone, he ran to join his companions.

* * *
Each step was an eternity. Vayl's feet pounded against the cobbled street as he willed himself on. Cheshire had still barely moved, but Vayl's eyes were fixed on his blade as it began its swing like the steady movement of a mountain across thousands of years.

Vayl had already rehearsed his strike a thousand times. The first of the blades of Chronos brought up to intercept Cheshire's strike, while he launched an attack of his own with the second.  It was perfect, he knew exactly when and how to strike, leaving nothing to chance. He just had to make it before Cheshire's strike. Or else...

He knew what he had to do, there was nothing more to think of. Desperately he tried to distract himself. He returned to his poetry, hoping to find some comfort in withdrawing from the moment. Usually this was solace during the dreadful slow ache of combat, but now his mind kept turning back to his premonition of Daniella, lying, bleeding in his arms and once again he was fixed on her and Cheshire. Time moved both horrifically slowly and with horrible inevitable speed and Vayl knew he had to make it, because the alternative was to horrifying to bear.

He returned to his poem from before. A simple thing, far from his greatest work, a piece of whimsy he had concocted to amuse himself. And yet for some reason he couldn't finish it.

“Leaves fall, slowly turning,
As gentle reminder of things passed,
Once green and growing now lifeless and discarded.
Brief lives lived and cast aside.
No memory of their passing.”

A small smile played across his lips as inspiration struck.

Cheshire studied Daniella again. There was something here of interest. He sniffed. Yes, he had it. He almost laughed. No time for that. Slowly he brought his blade round. A light wound, enough to incapacitate, then disappear with her. For all her complaints, Genma would certainly be interested in this.

He swung his blade. Out of nowhere a golden light shone, deflecting his strike at the last moment, then a second flash and a burst of pain in his left shoulder.  He turned to see the old man-boy with the golden blades, his right blade dripping with Cheshire's blood. Cheshire's customary grin turned to a snarl for a moment. But Daniella had already pulled back and drawn her bow and their grey armoured friend was rushing up the street to join them.

Cheshire considered his position. He would have risked fighting the girl and her bizarre protector, but not wounded. And with Genma and Bael nowhere to be seen he was facing three to one odds. Generally he preferred it when his opponents were outnumbered.

Cheshire smiled again and drew back, holding his blade awkwardly. He bowed slightly and blew Daniella a kiss.

“Farewell, my sweet lady, I trust we shall meet again.” Then he was gone, darting away into the shadows.

Vayl went to follow him, but a hand on his shoulder from Janus stopped him.

“We still have a mission,” he said firmly. “Are we all okay?”

Daniella nodded. “Just a little shaken, what were they, alliance?”

“Doubtful,” Janus said. “The woman was clearly a powerful summoner. Mercenaries perhaps, or something else. I hope they were only opportunists and our mission has not been compromised.” He shook his head. “It makes no difference, either way we must proceed as planned. Lets get the horses.”

He turned away. Daniella looked at Vayl, no returned to his elderly state. He looked badly battered, and even more aged. But a small and rare smile played across his face.

“What is it?” She asked, playfully.

Vayl turned to her and spoke.

“Leaves fall, slowly turning,
As gentle reminder of things passed,
Once green and growing now lifeless and discarded.
Brief lives lived and cast aside.
No memory of their passing.
But in living they comfort us that witness their fall.”

“You finished your poem,” she said, smiling.

“You can have it, if you want,” Vayl said awkwardly. “If you like it.”

Daniella smiled again, “Thank you. I hope I didn't worry you back there.”

“Of course not,” Vayl lied, “I wasn't worried for a second.” The two of them followed their leader.

* * *
Genma and Bael waited on the roof top. The rain was starting to fall. Genma's face was still impassive, but Bael looked furious as she nursed her bruises. She was not accustomed to being so casually defeated.

The battered and scorched form of Cheshire appeared, blood still flowing down his left arm from his shoulder wound. And yet his customary grin had not deserted him.

“I trust you have learned a lesson from this,” Genma said coldly. “You risked our exposure and jeopardised our mission on a fools errand. This will be reported.”

Bael smiled at the thought of how Lord Ophiel would react to Cheshire's actions.

Cheshire still smiled. “I certainly hope so. This is information of interest to all the Fallen Angels. That girl does not have a human soul.”

Only someone who knew Genma very well would have been able to see any change in her expression. Cheshire continued.

“Sylvain by the smell of it. Though I don't even think she knows it. But she is one of us, like it or not. And judging by her companions, an important Imperial Agent. Surely, my dear Genma that was worth a little risk and a few scrapes.”

Genma nodded gently. “That information will certainly  be reported. But for now we have a mission of our own. Bandage yourself up.”

Cheshire smiled coldly as the three Samael disappeared in the dark rain.
Logged

Humorous_Conclusion
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 66



View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #2 on: March 08, 2010, 12:30:17 PM »

What no comments at all?

Is it that bad? Or is it just too long?
Logged

Hiro
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 3734


Everything for justice!

bigdeath
View Profile
« Reply #3 on: March 08, 2010, 12:40:34 PM »

Excessively long. I'm sure its a good story but I'm too lazy to read it and I'm sure others are the same.
Logged



Cathar the Great
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 1098



View Profile WWW
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2010, 01:44:37 PM »

Excessively long. I'm sure its a good story but I'm too lazy to read it and I'm sure others are the same.

Sorry, but wtf? Took me ten minutes to read it, and I enjoyed every minute. I don't want some discussion about this fill up Humorous_Conclusion's thread, but your comment is just about the worst thing you could say to someone posting up his fan-fiction in a forum.

What if someone had said to Tolkien: "You invented a whole world and languages and the book itself is also SOOOO long? You're crazy J.R.R, no one will read that."

(Drop me a PM if you want to discuss it, or we could open a thread in the Offtopic on "Fanfiction etiquette" or something  Wink)


That aside, I really like the story Humorous_Conclusion!

It is very well written for a Fanfiction. The interaction between the characters and the pace of the combat is actually a lot better than in the story in the rulebook (Although that one surely suffered under the translation/proofreading)

I like the way you first describe the characters through an outsider. The poem and the description of how Vayl thinks while out of time are also very nice touches.

Hope to see more from you in the future ^^


I'd really like to read more of this.
Logged

Be the trouble you want to see in the world.

The Anima: Beyond Fantasy - Character Guidebook
Finished: Volume I - Travelers
Humorous_Conclusion
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 66



View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2010, 01:57:18 PM »

Thanks so much Cathar Grin I really appreciate the comments. I really enjoyed writing it and if I can think of any more ideas I will write some more (I'm still trying to work out the exact nature of the Samael's mission).

I'm not offended Hiro. I appreciate that this isn't the best place for posting 2000+ words of material, but I had an itch I needed to scratch and there was nowehere else for it to go.

I considered posting it in the fan-made section of the RPG area, but as it was concerned specifically with Anima Tactics characters I thought it would be of more interest to readers of this area.

I suppose there are better forums for fan fiction and short stories, but again as this was about Anima Tactics characters I thoughht it would probably go over non-Anima fans heads and so I was in a bind and posted it in the best place I could.

I appreciate that given the nature of this place as a message forum some people may not want to take the time to read it and that's fine, I just hoped that some people, like Cathar would and would give me some feedback. If you don't want to take the time that's absolutely your business and I don't mind at all. I would just be very grateful for any comments at all from people who did feel able to take the time and read it through.
Logged

Hiro
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 3734


Everything for justice!

bigdeath
View Profile
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2010, 04:32:13 PM »

Excessively long. I'm sure its a good story but I'm too lazy to read it and I'm sure others are the same.

Sorry, but wtf? Took me ten minutes to read it, and I enjoyed every minute. I don't want some discussion about this fill up Humorous_Conclusion's thread, but your comment is just about the worst thing you could say to someone posting up his fan-fiction in a forum.

Lol, all it takes is one negative comment to get people to post.  Grin Silence is just as bad.

I like your story, it well written and makes me think that maybe we should have a fanfiction section. In the mean time this is just fine to place a short story.

I'm just pointing out negativity tends to get people to notice posts on a forum for some odd reason. Someone was willing to defend your story and thats the highest praise in my book. You wanted responses, I deliver. Tongue

And the length is just fine. Wink
« Last Edit: March 08, 2010, 04:50:13 PM by Hiro » Logged



spacemonkey
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 780



View Profile
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2010, 05:11:11 PM »

Sorry I didn't post before, I did read the story the other day and thought it was nicely done.   Smiley
As Cathar says good pacing and characterization. And I agree that the length is just fine.
Logged

Cathar the Great
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 1098



View Profile WWW
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2010, 12:00:18 AM »

Excessively long. I'm sure its a good story but I'm too lazy to read it and I'm sure others are the same.

Sorry, but wtf? Took me ten minutes to read it, and I enjoyed every minute. I don't want some discussion about this fill up Humorous_Conclusion's thread, but your comment is just about the worst thing you could say to someone posting up his fan-fiction in a forum.

Lol, all it takes is one negative comment to get people to post.  Grin Silence is just as bad.


Yeah, I kind of overreacted a bit since I'm feeling his pain. I had a similar textwall up in the Modules&Adventures section and nobody posted.

Now someone did, but they think it's actual info from AS so that's messed up in many other ways...

Anyway, no harm done, right? It got people to post and that's how the interwebbs works ^^
Logged

Be the trouble you want to see in the world.

The Anima: Beyond Fantasy - Character Guidebook
Finished: Volume I - Travelers
planeswalker
Global Moderator
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 1508


Change we can believe in, for a change.


View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2010, 07:50:23 AM »

Sorry HC, I saw it and planned to read it but honestly didn't have the time. I'll comment on it when I do Wink
Logged



If it's difficult, it's attempted. If it's impossible, then it's done

For a coward there is no life, for a hero there is no death.

Anima Studio
Administrator
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 3129


Anima Studio Staff


View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #10 on: March 23, 2010, 12:08:05 PM »

Love the story. Very good work!
Logged

"Extermination is your reward for opposing a God"

High Arbiter Alastor
Gunnerjack
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 98



View Profile
« Reply #11 on: March 24, 2010, 02:32:57 AM »

Very good story, gives feeling of what Anima Characters are! Great Job
Logged

Humorous_Conclusion
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 66



View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #12 on: March 24, 2010, 12:43:24 PM »

Thanks everyone for the positive comments. I'll admit that I was really pleased with how this came out.

I'm doing my best to come up with a sequel. Having emphasised that the Samael were on a mission I need to know what that mission was. Plus, I really want to write Cheshire again. Of all the Anima Tactics characters his profile in the rulebook most closely matched the idea I had of him.
Logged

planeswalker
Global Moderator
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 1508


Change we can believe in, for a change.


View Profile WWW Email
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2010, 02:35:57 PM »

H_C, just read the first half of it and I'm liking it so far. More comments when I can finish it (loads of work, man! Wink).
Logged



If it's difficult, it's attempted. If it's impossible, then it's done

For a coward there is no life, for a hero there is no death.

Red Castle
Jr. Member
**
Posts: 97



View Profile
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2010, 05:40:57 PM »

Very nice story! I sincerely hope you'll find the time to write a sequel and that it continues with Samael. I loved how you interpreted Dark Chesire and Bael. It actually makes me want to play them now hehehe.

As for the empire, you had it rough, since I don't really like the Cerberus Division... but it made me like the Samael even more ahaha Nice work on representing the blade of Chronos and the drawback that come with them!

You really give a feel of what Anima is about! Please, please! Make a sequel! Grin
Logged



Pages: [1] 2
Print
Jump to:  

Theme orange-lt created by padexx